JOKE of the DAY
- Onderwerp starter micdee
- Startdatum
Jeroen
Stamgast
- 16 mei 2011
- 1.995
- 3
- 38
tis een beetje een lang verhaal maar goed! 
A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator." The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!" The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce. The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night. It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly. The driver of th e Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!"
A guy driving a Yugo pulled up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce. He rolled down his window and shouted to the driver of the Rolls. "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got a phone in my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls looked over and said snobbishly, "Yes, I have a phone." The driver of the Yugo said, "Cool! Hey, you also got a fridge in there, too? I've got one in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, much annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator." The driver of the Yugo said, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, quite irritated by now, replied, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!" The driver of the Yugo said, "Yes, a very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!" The driver of the Rolls, upset that he did not have a bed, sped away and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered a bed to be installed in the back of his Rolls-Royce. The next morning, he returned to pick up his car, and the bed looked superb It came complete with silk sheets and a brass-trimmed headboard. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls-Royce. So the driver of the Rolls began searching for the Yugo. He drove around all day and finally found the Yugo late that night. It was parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. He got out and knocked on the window of the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he continued knocking and knocking until finally, the owner of the Yugo lowered the window, and stuck his soaking wet head out. "I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly. The driver of th e Yugo looked at him narrowly and said, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!?!"
- 16 jul 2011
- 694
- 2
- 0
Start de dag met een lach!!!!:
Larry Is In The Hospital . . . ....
Who the heck is Larry?
Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"
Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo"? she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
Larry is in the Hospital, Critical Care Unit, I wonder why....
Larry Is In The Hospital . . . ....
Who the heck is Larry?
Well Larry is the guy who gets home late one night and Linda, his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"
Larry replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo"? she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking"? she said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand.
And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."
Larry is in the Hospital, Critical Care Unit, I wonder why....
- 16 jul 2011
- 694
- 2
- 0
nieuwe dag, nieuwe lach
Fons komt thuis van school en vertelt trots: ?Ik heb vandaag mijn eerste Engelse les gehad. Nu kan ik ook "dank je wel" zeggen in het Engels.?
Zijn moeder antwoordt: ?Dat is goed. Want tot nu toe kon je dat nog niet eens in het Nederlands.?
Fons komt thuis van school en vertelt trots: ?Ik heb vandaag mijn eerste Engelse les gehad. Nu kan ik ook "dank je wel" zeggen in het Engels.?
Zijn moeder antwoordt: ?Dat is goed. Want tot nu toe kon je dat nog niet eens in het Nederlands.?
Jeroen
Stamgast
- 16 mei 2011
- 1.995
- 3
- 38
As Retired Lieutenant Commander Andrew Craig was driving his old car down the motorway, his mobile phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, 'Andrew, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the M275. Please be careful!'
'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!'
en nog eentje:
Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'
The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.'
This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW.
The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?'
Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'
'Botheration, 'said Andrew, 'Its not just one car. Its hundreds of them!'
en nog eentje:
Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'
The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.'
This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW.
The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?'
Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'
Jeroen
Stamgast
- 16 mei 2011
- 1.995
- 3
- 38
A man came to work on Monday morning with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man replied, ?On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.?
The boss asked, ?Okay, so where did you get the other shiner??
?Well,? the man said, ?I figured she didn?t want it out, so I pushed it back in.?
The man replied, ?On Sunday, I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her butt crack, so I was trying to be nice and I pulled it out for her. Then, she turned around and punched me in the eye.?
The boss asked, ?Okay, so where did you get the other shiner??
?Well,? the man said, ?I figured she didn?t want it out, so I pushed it back in.?
Maistah
Actief
- 1 feb 2011
- 472
- 1
- 0
Omdat het net zondag is geweest:
A drunk man staggers into a Church and sits down in a confessional box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs a few times to attract his attention, but the man still says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking man, there's no paper on this side either."
A drunk man staggers into a Church and sits down in a confessional box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs a few times to attract his attention, but the man still says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking man, there's no paper on this side either."
Jeroen
Stamgast
- 16 mei 2011
- 1.995
- 3
- 38
wat grappige handigheden voor als je aangehouden wordt:
Thanks Officer! That's great. The last officer only gave me a warning as well!
Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
Sorry Officer, I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yeah I know they are miles ahead of me, but that's how fast they got away from me!
No, I don't know how fast I was going. The needle stops at 180 mph
Wow! you must have been going some to catch me up?
Sorry officer, I didn't know you where behind me all that time, I was having to focus on what was in front of me because of the speed I was going
Thanks Officer! That's great. The last officer only gave me a warning as well!
Sorry Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
Sorry Officer, I was trying to keep up with the traffic, Yeah I know they are miles ahead of me, but that's how fast they got away from me!
No, I don't know how fast I was going. The needle stops at 180 mph
Wow! you must have been going some to catch me up?
Sorry officer, I didn't know you where behind me all that time, I was having to focus on what was in front of me because of the speed I was going
- 16 jul 2011
- 694
- 2
- 0
Als de aanhoudende agent aangekomen bij de auto begint met:"We reden wel iets te hard, daarvoor moet ik u bekeuren" Is altijd een goed antwoord: "Schrijf gelijk even uw bankrekening op het kopietje, dan weet ik waar ik de helft van de boete naar toe moet overmaken, het is sneu dat u de volledige boete moet betalen."
Bij mij werkte hij niet, maar wie weet kom jij de goeie tegen.....
Bij mij werkte hij niet, maar wie weet kom jij de goeie tegen.....